Finding it hard to make friends is surprisingly an issue a lot of people have. Not just young girls. And not the movie stereotypical “nerd” that movies portray. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen teenagers get socially awkward, 30-year-olds avoid social gatherings and adults struggle to keep a conversation going. More than most would probably admit they’ve found it hard to make friends at least once.
So, is there a secret recipe to it?
Nope. People are different but for the sake of a short blog, I’m going to split my advice into two: For Introverts and For Extroverts. And if you’re like me and are a mix of both or don’t know who you are at all-use the tips that resonate with you.
FOR EXTROVERTS:
1. Remember who you are and own that - Agree with yourself that you don’t need to and shan’t, change who you are to make someone else like you.
2. Read the room - as extroverts we sometimes aren’t that self aware to recognise that we’ve been talking at someone for like 10min and they haven’t gotten a word in or…we’ve said something by accident that’s offended them. Recognise people’s boundaries too but don’t take it personally-people are just different and that has nothing to do with you.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask them questions – do they like what you just said you loved? Ask them to share something about themselves too.
4. Always be yourself – as unique as we are, I believe we are still similar enough to have people that we ‘vibe’ with. Don’t lose hope if you haven’t found that person/s yet. This pandemic won’t last forever so the opportunities will be endless once you’re back at school, go to college, start a job, go to the concert etc.
FOR INTROVERTS:
1. Remember who you are and own that - Agree with yourself that you don’t need to and shan’t, change who you are to make someone else like you.
2. You might have to come out of your comfort shell for a minute – saying the first “hey” or asking the first question may seem like so much effort or embarrassing but it’s not as long as it seems to be. They might even end up carrying the conversation.
3. Don’t overthink it – Introverts are usually really good at being observant and if you’re already super nervous, you might start to overthink the smallest things. But just remind yourself of who you are, that other people’s actions (or lack of) have nothing to do with you and that, on the other side of the action you’re overthinking, the other person could be your closest friend for 16 years+ or love that ‘weird’ thing you love too or could just be another person you pass by. All three options include you surviving so just do it
4. When in doubt, ask them questions – most people enjoy talking about themselves and it shows you’re interested in who they are
5. Introverts aren’t boring, awkward or the rejected people – You can be bold and introverted so don’t shy away from your desires because some people may not get you. There are people/s out there who will. (sometimes, it may be down to take the first step and make the move)
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